“Point Salad!” Bah! A title that makes goblins hiss. A salad is not a game, it’s elf punishment food. Humans took lettuce and carrots, slapped numbers on them, and called it a masterpiece. Goblins do not eat salad — we devour bones, fry mushrooms, and gnaw on cheese rinds. Already the stench of disappointment fills the swamp.
Over a hundred vegetable cards. Carrots, onions, peppers, lettuce. That’s it. Just vegetables! When goblins see a hundred vegetables, we don’t play — we set them on fire. Where are the skulls, explosions, or cursed artifacts? No slime, no blood, not even a single rotten tomato to throw. Just a tidy stack of greenery. Weak!
Here’s the so‑called challenge: pick vegetables, pick scoring cards, make a salad worth more points than your neighbor’s salad. That’s it! This isn’t a game, it’s grocery shopping. “Collect carrots for points.” “Collect peppers for points.” In goblin culture, collecting too many carrots earns you exile. Strategy? You call choosing between a lettuce or a scoring card strategy? Real goblin strategy is: which wall do I smash first, and who do I bite while doing it.
Theme? None. Just vegetables on a table. A salad is not a theme, it’s a sad appetizer. If you want goblins to play, give us Point Swamp with slime and bones. Or Point Cheese, where the winner hoards the most before Jugbite eats it all. Anything but this pile of fresh disappointment.
The only “interaction” is stealing the vegetable another human wanted. Oooo, conflict! You took my onion! What thrilling drama. Pathetic. A proper goblin game ends with mud, shouting, and someone missing a tooth. Here it’s just produce envy.
Final Verdict
Point Salad is quick, simple, and colorful. Perfect for humans who like counting vegetables. For goblins, it’s an insult. I will not waste swamp time tallying cabbages. The only joy I had was using a lettuce card to scrape mud from under my nails.
Krizbella’s Rotten Score: 6 Mushrooms out of 10
And why 6, not 2? Hmph. Because even though I’d rather chew gravel than eat lettuce, the blasted game is quick, colorful, and sneaky enough to make humans argue. I give it credit for causing squabbles at the table — music to goblin ears. And the cards? Easy to throw across the room when you lose. That alone is worth a couple mushrooms. Still, don’t mistake this for goblin approval — it’s salad, and salad is an insult to proper food. In the end, salad is not a meal, it’s punishment. Call it points all you want, humans — to goblins it’s just leaves pretending to be victory.
Jugbite