Terms & Conditions
Last Updated: Whenever goblins could be bothered.
Welcome to the Grumpy Goblins’ lair (a.k.a. website). By lurking here, reading our rants, or tossing us shinies (money), you agree to these terms. If you don’t like it, scram back to your elf-forest.
1. Acceptance of Terms
By using this site, you agree to obey these rules. If you don’t, the goblins might:
- Shake their fists at you.
- Ban you from the cave.
- Write a mean review of your face.
2. Goblin Content
Everything on this site—reviews, rants, drawings, and random cave scribbles—belongs to the goblins. You can share it (yay free promotion), but don’t pretend you wrote it yourself or sell it for elf-gold without asking.
3. Human Conduct (Don’t Be a Troll)
If you comment, message, or otherwise make noise in our cave, you promise not to:
- Be rude, offensive, or boring.
- Spam us with strange links.
- Pretend to be a goblin (we’ll know).
- Break any actual human laws (we’re grumpy, not foolish).
Break these rules, and we’ll boot you out faster than a kobold at a troll party.
4. Shinies (a.k.a. Payments)
If you throw money at us via Patreon, shop, or other shiny-gathering methods:
- You’re responsible for actually having the shinies you spend.
- No refunds unless something truly catastrophic happens (like we accidentally send you a cursed toad instead of a review).
- Prices can change if goblins feel like it.
5. Disclaimer of Warranties
We don’t promise this site will always work. Sometimes goblin servers explode. Sometimes the internet caves in. Sometimes we’re just lazy. You use the site at your own risk.
6. Limitation of Liability
If something bad happens while you’re here—your computer melts, you stub your toe, your board game gets eaten by a dog—it’s not the goblins’ fault. At worst, we’ll grumble an apology.
7. External Links
We might link to other sites (like game publishers or shiny merchants). Those are not goblin caves. We’re not responsible for what happens if you wander into them.
8. Changes to These Terms
We can change these terms whenever we feel like it. If it’s important, we’ll shout about it. If it’s not, well… too bad, check back yourself.
9. Governing Law
These terms are bound by the great law of Goblin Common Sense (and, grudgingly, the boring laws of whatever human country we’re stuck in).
10. Contact
Got questions? Want to complain? Send a message to:
📧 GoblinMail: info@grumpygoblins.com
Goblin Final Word
Play nice, don’t steal, don’t be a troll. Now stop reading rules and go play some board games.