Sequence
High Chief Jugbite the Grim
Right, gather round, squishy humans—listen to Jugbite, your most cantankerous goblin, as I grouch out about this “Sequence” game that you keep yapping about. What Even Is This? So you’ve…
7 Wonders: Architects
“7 Wonders: Architects? More like 7 Blunders: Annoy-itects.” So the humans took their big clever game 7 Wonders—with its cards and combos and ancient bragging—and said, “Let’s make it simple…
Terraforming Mars
“Terraforming Mars? More like Terrifying Wallets.” So, you’re telling me the plan is to… fix an entire planet. Ha! I can barely keep my goblin cave from flooding in the…
Star Realms: Rise of Empire
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Sparks
Aha—robots! Finally something that goes bang in a civilized way. Sparks has you running a little robot factory: you scavenge dice from a junkyard, slap parts together, recruit animal assistants,…
7 Wonders Duel — Krizbella’s Rotten Review
Krizbella
Hmph. So you want to know what I think of 7 Wonders Duel, eh? Fine. Sit down, shut up, and prepare for disappointment. First off, they say it’s a “two-player”…
Pirates of Maracaibo
Arrrgh, humans, you and your pirate games! Pirates of Maracaibo be another shiny box full of maps, cards, and fiddly tokens where you pretend to be sea rats chasing glory,…
Earth
“Earth? Hah! More like Dirt Deluxe.” So the humans made a big ol’ box stuffed with 364 cards about trees, mushrooms, deserts, jungles, and all the boring green stuff goblins…
Harmonies
“Harmonies? More like Horribles… if I Were Relaxed!” What’s this? A board game about… building cute habitats? Bah! They give you a personal board, a bag full of colorful terrain…