Right, gather round, squishy humans—listen to Jugbite, your most cantankerous goblin, as I grouch out about this “Sequence” game that you keep yapping about.
What Even Is This?
So you’ve got a board plastered with nearly every playing card from two decks—joker-less on the board, but the corners are free spaces, because of course they are. You slap down chips on card spots that match the cards from your pathetically small hand. Your goal? Get five in a row—horizontally, vertically, or diagonally—and the first to make the required number of sequences wins. Simple, right? But it still manages to annoy me.
What’s Tricksy About It?
- Two-eyed Jacks are wild—place a chip anywhere. One-eyed Jacks let you remove an opponent’s chip. Because of course, there’s always trickery.
- Corners? Free spaces everyone can use. Even my goblin gang could tie their shoelaces there and still win.
- In 2-player (or 2-team) games, if you manage to get two sequences, they’re allowed to share one chip. Ridiculous, but rules are rules.
Strategy—Hah!
“Strategy” in this blasted game is mostly about holding onto Jacks, building near corners, and blocking the other poor sap from winning. But let’s be honest: it’s about who draws the right cards more than any cunning plan. Some say, and I quote:
“The game is almost entirely luck based. Whoever draws more jacks wins like 99% of the time.”
Yeah, goblin gold might be at stake here, but mostly it’s just dumb luck.
Goblin Gut Reaction: Why It Galls Me
- So much randomness, so little pay-off. A goblin likes to craft plans, sabotage folks, maybe pinch some coins—not just pray the deck deals nicely.
- Jacks are ludicrously powerful. You hold one, and bam—you can ruin my line. I hate it when they ruin my perfectly spiteful plans.
- The “shared chip” rule? Why is that even a thing? It’s like letting two goblin clans live in peace—utterly absurd and unwanted.
My Goblin Verdict
I give Sequence:
3 out of 5 muddy goblin toes
- + Easy to grasp, quick to play. Great when you just wanna bash something fast.
- – Overwhelming luck. Strategy is more an illusion than reality.
- – One-eyed and two-eyed Jacks are a pain, corners make it too cheap, and the shared chip rule is a goblin’s nightmare.
Would play it again only if someone shoved a sack of rotten turnips under my nose as a bribe.
Krizbella