“7 Wonders: Architects? More like 7 Blunders: Annoy-itects.”
So the humans took their big clever game 7 Wonders—with its cards and combos and ancient bragging—and said, “Let’s make it simple so everyone can play!” Well, congratulations. They made a version even my cousin Zarg (who thinks dice are edible) can understand.
What’s the deal?
Each goblin gets a half-built wonder plopped on the table. On your turn, you grab a card from one of three piles: the one to your left, the one to your right, or the face-down common pile. That’s it. Collect resources, build your wonder stages, nab science for progress tokens, or pile up military to smack your neighbors. First goblin to finish their wonder usually drags the game to an end.
Why it makes me growl:
- Too quick, too shallow. Strategy? Ha! You’re just flipping piles and hoping your neighbor doesn’t nick the card you wanted.
- The Wonders are uneven. Some feel shiny, others feel like they were glued together from spare cave planks.
- Military nonsense. You build up, war happens, tokens flip, then it all resets. It’s like goblin headbutting competitions: noisy, but not much progress.
- Feels random. If you want a game of clever planning, play the original. This one’s more “grab shinies and hope.”
But fine, it’s not all rotten fungus.
- Fast and accessible. Any goblin—big, small, or missing half a brain—can play.
- Pretty bits. The wonder pieces slot together nicely, and I’ll admit it’s satisfying to finish your monument and lord it over the others.
- Good for mixed groups. Got humans and goblins of all skill levels? This one works without a rulebook brawl.
Grumpy Goblin Verdict
Pros:
- Quick setup and play.
- Lovely chunky components, good table presence.
- Great entry game for new or distracted players.
Cons:
- Too shallow for scheming goblins who like depth.
- Wonders not always balanced.
- Random draw luck can steal your plans.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 rusty goblin hammers.
A fine shiny toy for beginners, but veteran goblins will be backstabbing in the full 7 Wonders long before this one hits the shelf again.
Krizbella